Venom: The Last Dance review: "A puddle of pixels that isn’t much fun to splash around in"

2024-10-23

GamesRadar+ VerdictOccupies a space far more safe and sanitized than the source comics, all boiling down to one big chase moviePros+Funny banter between Eddie and Venom+Rhys Ifans making everything better as a hippie who leads a joyfully naff singalong+A soaring soundtrack of golden oldiesCons-CG-heavy action sequences with little flair-Juno Temple stepping into Michelle Williams’ too-small shoes as the woman on the edge of the action-The most infuriating sting imaginable

GamesRadar+ Verdict

Occupies a space far more safe and sanitized than the source comics, all boiling down to one big chase movie

Pros+Funny banter between Eddie and Venom+Rhys Ifans making everything better as a hippie who leads a joyfully naff singalong+A soaring soundtrack of golden oldies

Funny banter between Eddie and Venom

Rhys Ifans making everything better as a hippie who leads a joyfully naff singalong

A soaring soundtrack of golden oldies

Cons-CG-heavy action sequences with little flair-Juno Temple stepping into Michelle Williams’ too-small shoes as the woman on the edge of the action-The most infuriating sting imaginable

CG-heavy action sequences with little flair

Juno Temple stepping into Michelle Williams’ too-small shoes as the woman on the edge of the action

The most infuriating sting imaginable

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At the start of this trilogy-closer for the Venom saga, our bedraggled hero Eddie Brock (Tom Hardy) is in a Mexican bar (“Hola, bitches!” booms the alien symbiote’s inside voice) and there’s talk of the purple alien who loves stones and of people losing five years of their lives.

It appears, for a moment, that Venom: The Last Dance is set to sashay across the floor, under disco balls like planets, from one cinematic universe to another, tradingSony’s Spider-Man Universe for the MCU. After all,Venom: Let There Be Carnage’s mid-credits stingfeatured Peter Parker’s Spider-Man and Daily Bugle editor J. Jonah Jameson (J.K. Simmons) in a TV news bulletin.

But no, Eddie and his not-so-easy rider are merely getting a head-snaffling taste of another dimension (teasing future adventures, perhaps?), and are soon firmly back in the SSU. “I’m so done with this multiverse shit,” growls Venom, and you might well nod in sympathy.

Exposition overload

(Image credit: Sony/Marvel)

Venom 3

Anyway, in this particular universe, the big bad is not Thanos or Kang the Conqueror, or the incoming Doctor Doom, butKnull, god of symbiotes, who’s intent on escaping his eldritch prison on a far-flung planet. His endgame? To kill all symbiotes and, while he’s at it, the human race. Only he needs the Codex if he’s to slip his chains and do his evil bidding, and for that he needs Venom. Why? Don’t worry about it – the filmmakers can’t be arsed to properly explain it and there’s already enough exposition to make you want to bite off your own head.

Enter the Xenophage, an ungodly CGI mash-up of a Xenomorph from the Alien franchise, the skittering arachnid bugs from Starship Troopers, and Cooper, the destructive ET in Super 8. Essentially Knull’s version of a Rottweiler straining on its leash, this outsized, snarling beast can sense Venom whenever he shows himself fully (so why Venom does exactly that simply to strut his stuff to ABBA’s ‘Dancing Queen’, fun though that might be, is a mystery), zeroing in like a heat-seeking missile.

Fast factsRelease date:October 25Available:In theatersDirector:Kelly MarcelRuntime:1h 49m

Fast facts

Release date:October 25Available:In theatersDirector:Kelly MarcelRuntime:1h 49m

Release date:October 25

Available:In theaters

Director:Kelly Marcel

Runtime:1h 49m

Meanwhile, at the soon-to-be-decommissioned Area 51, Dr. Payne (Juno Temple) studies symbiote matter; franchise cop Mulligan (Stephen Graham), reportedly dead, is in fact proving a stable host to a green symbiote; and General Strickland (Chiwetel Ejiofor, bringing a grain of gravitas) decides to kill Eddie, or Venom, or both, as soon as he learns of the Codex and its world-ending possibilities.

It’s alot, but it all boils down to one big chase movie, our body-sharing bros going on the lam (“ROAD TRIP!” bellows Venom) to escape not just the Xenophage but Strickland and all of his heavily armed, tech-aided goons.

A series of largely uninspired, uninvolving set-pieces unfurl in the air (a Xenophage vs. Venom smackdown atop a packed airbus), on the ground (Venom using a “nice horsey” as host to gallop across the desert) and underwater (think a sub-aquatic take on Minority Report’s jet-pack chase, with phonier effects). Eventually the plot strands entwine for an extended beast-on-beast(s) climax that, like the finales of the first two movies, quickly devolves into a puddle of pixels that isn’t much fun to splash around in.

An odd couple

(Image credit: Sony)

Venom in Venom: The Last Dance

Here, the back-and-forth is unrelenting, but it frequently raises a smile and occasionally an outright guffaw, while it’s also pleasing to see, and hear, just how affectionate these initially fractious companions have grown over three movies. With Michelle Williams’ sadly underused Anne now out of the picture altogether, it’s all about the bromance, and some viewers might even get a little misty eyed over a BFF montage that appears to be entirely serious in its heartstrings-tugging intentions. Others, of course, would gladly swap out the cheese for just a smattering (splattering?) of the carnage offered on the page.

Also enjoyable is a cameo from franchise-favorite Mrs. Chen (Peggy Lu) and a handful of scenes centered on Rhys Ifans’ hippie family as they head for Area 51 in their VW Campervan, hopeful of spying an ET before the sky falls in on the famous facility. Watching Eddie cringe as mom Nova Moon, kids Leaf and Echo, and dad, er, Martin sing along to Bowie’s ‘Space Oddity’ is as batshit crazy as Eddie climbing into a high-end restaurant’s lobster tank in the first movie. And that’s before Venom gleefully joins in the crooning.

Eventually the plot strands entwine for an extended beast-on-beast(s) climax that, like the finales of the first two movies, quickly devolves into a puddle of pixels that isn’t much fun to splash around in

“Let’s finish this,” hollers Eddie in the final stages, to which Venom adds, “With pleasure!” What a shame that the feeling their battle cry most evokes is not exhilaration but relief.

Venom: The Last Dance is released in theaters worldwide on October 25.

For more, check out our guide to theupcoming superhero moviesto add to your calendar, as well as how to watch theSpider-Man movies in order.

More about venom 3Hideo Kojima has ‘reviewed’ Venom 3 and it’s just as brutal as his Madame Web verdictAfter nightmare popcorn buckets and Facetiming with Megan Thee Stallion, Venom: The Last Dance’s wild marketing recreates a viral TikTok trend for its release

More about venom 3

Hideo Kojima has ‘reviewed’ Venom 3 and it’s just as brutal as his Madame Web verdictAfter nightmare popcorn buckets and Facetiming with Megan Thee Stallion, Venom: The Last Dance’s wild marketing recreates a viral TikTok trend for its release

Venom in The Last Dance

Hideo Kojima has ‘reviewed’ Venom 3 and it’s just as brutal as his Madame Web verdict

Venom in The Last Dance

After nightmare popcorn buckets and Facetiming with Megan Thee Stallion, Venom: The Last Dance’s wild marketing recreates a viral TikTok trend for its release

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GamesRadar+ Verdict

Exposition overload

An odd couple

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